Posted on by followerofchrist3

Never Enough Time

I expected to get back to this sooner. A combination of extra hours at work because of being so short handed, my husband’s medical appointments, what I think is a broken toe, and some sudden bouts of …not quite depression, or maybe it is….and still unpacking, trying to get settled into this new home have kept me away. That, and I can feel something processing on a deep level, although I couldn’t yet put words to it. Still can’t. Writing is how I have always found those words, so who knows, maybe I’ll get to it here.

It has been an interesting few weeks. We now have a diagnosis of a clotting disorder for my husband, and the knowledge that if the first neurologist had done his job, we would have had this diagnosis last Nov/Dec, he could have been on the right medication, and he wouldn’t be trying to operate with a 100% basal artery blockage. I have had some friends tell me I need to pursue a medical negligence suit. I honestly don’t know how I feel about that. No amount of money is going to clear his arteries, or prolong his life, or replace him. The response is “yes, but maybe you can save someone else from going through this”. THAT could possibly persuade me. But it’s another potentially (it would seem) very time consuming pursuit, for which I have no time to give. I’m already having stupid, avoidable accidents resulting in more pain due to exhaustion — hence the aforementioned toe, and I didn’t say anything about the foot its attached to. I don’t need anything else to deal with. But….is it the *right* thing to do? I will have to think on that.

I have settled into work at the veterinary clinic and am overall loving it. There is minor drama, but there will always be drama wherever you have people working together. It is pleasant to do work that makes a difference in people’s lives.

And, I took a step today in pursuing my writing career. A concrete step. I will have to find time to work on it daily, but it is time. I love writing, I love the research, and perhaps one day it can become a full time job. Then I could at least be home here with him, as the doctor recommended, and doing something I love.

Posted on by followerofchrist3

Life Happens

It’s been awhile, and so much happens in a day I don’t know that I’ll ever catch up here, but I can begin again. I don’t remember if I had purchased my new computer the last post or two or no, I’ve been learning Windows 8.1, and actually rather liking it. I guess I’m weird, from all I heard about it before.

It’s odd to me how I find myself, still, running from writing. I’m not a very good runner, not in real life at all, and not much better in matters of the heart. Time spent musing over this has resulted in some observations of why. I can’t do fake anymore. I can’t pretend all is perfect, or even approaching it, when it’s not. Life is messy, has been messy, and if experience is any teacher, will continue to be so. And I don’t know yet exactly how to balance putting my mess out there, in the hopes of giving someone else hope, with my ingrained, inescapable belief that some things are holy, even the messy things, and are not to be held, or shared, lightly. Considering much of it also includes my children, now young men all, wrestling with and running from their own messes, makes it even more difficult.

But I cannot escape the urge to write. And I no longer have an excuse not to, as I have a computer again. So….look out

Posted on by followerofchrist3

Happy Dance

I have a computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will refrain from running that exclamation point on endlessly. Yes, I’m slightly excited/happy/elated. It feels like oxygen for my soul. Good God, now I can write again!!!

Now all I have to do is remember how this particular theme works, how the new posting page works, being it is not offering me the different types of posts that come with this theme, and figure out how to post things like poetry, where I don’t want it skipping spaces between every line. Yay!!!!!!!!