Free form thought dumping this morning…thank God the urge to write is returning. Slowly, but it is. Losing the ability to write felt like a death…but it was kicked off by one, so maybe that’s why. Grief is an interesting thing.

Today is my “official” one year anniversary, according to the State of TX. We were actually 10 years in March, but after our first marriages, neither of us wanted the state involved in something that a hundred years ago it wasn’t. This relationship is between us and God, and that was good enough for us. Sure, per common-law rules we were ‘married’ but then discovered more how that works in this state when he had a life threatening health issue occur, and the hospital told us yes my medical PoA is good, but only until his last breath, then according to TX I don’t exist in his life and have no say in anything. So if you are like we were, common law married, check the laws in your state for when that time comes, as it does to all of us.

A year ago today, I didn’t know if we’d make it this far. His prognosis was not positive. The first neurologist, and the hospital neurologists, made serious mistakes that in my eyes should have been a medical malpractice suit, and directly caused his situation worsening from “this is isn’t good, but …” to being told “he is not going to live, get your affairs in order.” We spoke to one of his long time doctors who told us a few other neurologists to look into, settled on one, who blew up in the office at the incompetence of the previous medical professionals on his case, ordered tests, found out what was causing his issues, and with proper medications and follow up he is still with me. One of those steps of “getting our affairs in order” though included making marriage official in the state of TX, so that if anything happened to him (or me) the other actually held the reins in what came next.

So, one year ago today, a pastor friend, two of my sons, one of their girlfriends and us took a careful hike a short ways down the hiking trail we became friends on, then fell in love on, to a little stream where we used to sit and talk, and said our vows with a proper Scottish handfasting ceremony (he is mostly Scottish).

I’m not sure what we are doing today, most of our plans involved the outdoors but with a heat index of 118 today and his continued fragility, those won’t be happening. We moved again the end of February, and are still not unpacked due to an auto accident I was in the last day of the move, subsequent surgery, and just life, so maybe it will be a “setting up/cleaning up together” day. And that’s fine too.