Nine years ago today, March 20th, I shakily got myself together, and went to meet a stranger at Starbucks. We had been talking for about 2 wks by email. He had found my post on a local board wondering if there was any one who could introduce me to the local hiking trails. I had moved here to central Texas from southern Indiana a few years before, and being the introvert that I am I hadn’t gotten out much. I hate getting lost, like panic attack just thinking about it hate, so I wasn’t about to try to find any trails on my own. Besides, its not wise to hike alone.

Other than him, all the replies I had received had also been from males, but also made it clear they weren’t exactly interested in hiking up anything but my skirt (if I would be so kind as to wear one). I can’t do casual sex, its just not me, so I either just ignored the replies or, if they became persistent, told them go find someone else I’m not interested. This guy though was different. We just…conversed. I wondered at some of the questions he asked until we were finally planning to actually meet, and I was like “what trail, where?” and found myself getting a solid scolding about not meeting strange men in the woods, for all I knew he could be a serial rapist, and I had better get some better boundaries up. I don’t remember how I responded, I remember being a bit shocked at his vehemence and a bit feeling like a kid getting a scolding, but whatever I said he then informed me he had a CJ degree, his TCLOS, and had trained to be a cop until breaking his back put an end to that. Aaaaahhhhh……THAT made sense. So, Starbucks it is!

I often find myself wishing I didn’t have the memory issues I do. I remember going. I remember him quickly putting me at ease. I remember thinking good grief, he’s got to be Scottish with that build (he is). We talked, easily, for about 3 hours, which neither of us expected. One of the boys called to be sure I was ok. And we decided to meet at Tejas, his favorite hiking location, in a few days. I left, thinking this can work. I need an adult friend, neither of us is interested in more than friendship, we both had gotten through bad divorces a few years before (although his made mine look like a cakewalk), and hiking would be good exercise. I needed to get out in nature.

We met the few days later, and hiked a few miles down a trail that has since become very dear to my heart. There are streams to cross, rock walls to admire raising many feet above along parts of the trail. Animal calls, and tracks. My first knowledge of Ringtails, an adorable little creature that makes me think of a cross between a raccoon and a squirrel, with maybe a little meerkat tossed in. Snakes, and armadillos, and rabbits abound there. The San Gabriel river winds along, sluggish and shallow in most places, except when the rains come. He told me about the times it has flooded over the years, having spent nearly all of his life in the area. I wore out about 3 miles in, and we turned around after resting and talking more. And, we began to meet twice a week to hike. Oh how my soul needed that! I am most at home outside, especially amongst trees with the faint sound of water.

I still feel ambushed, but in a good way. Conversations flow while hiking. One isn’t thinking about barriers or walls or not letting oneself be seen when one is soaking in God’s glorious nature and sweating (its Texas, after all) and huffing and exclaiming about the mammals or reptiles that burst out of the brush beside the trail as you approach. Or while you’re sitting in chairs beside the river after, catching breath and catching up on getting to know each other. Its rare I feel so relaxed in anyone’s presence. He was so genuine, dirt and all, that it just came natural to be so back. We found we had some very similar backgrounds. Definitely not identical, but so familiar it was easy to empathize with each other. Just having someone to talk freely with….there had only ever been a few others I could.

The last nine years have been full of life in all of its glories and all of its ugliness. My boys have grown and flown the nest. His daughter came back into our lives. I have taken a kick to the spine from a pony, thankfully – a horse probably would have snapped it fully in half – and was unable to walk for almost a year and will have issues for the rest of my days here because of it. He’s been in two serious car accidents. I suffered 2 serious injuries last year, and he then suffered 2 strokes. Medical mistakes set him up for another, not 2 wks ago, and a not great prognosis according to the hospital neurologists. I don’t know how much longer we have, but I will always be thankful for the time we’ve had. And I pray, fervently, daily, that God is gracious and we have many years left. I don’t know how to carry that level of loss, yet again. But for my boys I would simply go with him. For their sakes, I will not, I can not. Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.